Endings & Uncertain Beginnings – Divorce & Beyond

Endings & Uncertain Beginnings

How I Became a Life Coach & my Daring Divorced & Divine Programme
When my marriage came to an end, it was hard, really hard.  I was in pain and I was suffering.  I know that I was not the first nor will I be the last.

The demise of an almost 20-year relationship left me with a shattered heart and broken dreams. I took my children with me leaving behind a family home and very little financial security. I was very scared.  The months and years that followed were challenging ones.

Despite the difficulties, I had to pull myself together for my son and daughter.  It became clear, that I would be their primary source of support as the children’s father withdrew more and more emotionally and physically from the children’s lives.  

My daughter had an entrepreneurial spirit and my son was academically gifted. I would not see these gifts squandered.  I was determined to keep my children’s hopes and dreams alive.   There would be compromises on my part –  but – I would need some deep healing and find a way to sustain myself through this healing process.

   (Helping to ‘man’ my daughter’s market stall)

Healing & Coaching
And so, I sought help and started counselling sessions and I developed a meditation practice.  Some yoga helped as well.  As time moved on, I would find myself drawn more and more to energetic healing.  Mindfulness, neuroscience, neuroplasticity, and Reiki became areas of interest.  Reiki sessions were so beneficial and uplifting and brought balance. I would budget carefully so that I could have a session every 3 to 4 weeks.

I would later become attuned to Reiki so that I could offer this healing modality to others.

Daring, Divorced & Divine Programme
From studies in energetic healing, I was led to studies in life coaching.  I became a certified Life Coach and I began to develop my own coaching style and programme.   This would become my Daring, Divorced & Divine programme. It is a programme to support the rebuilding and the re-creating a life, from the inside-out, from the ground up with purpose and meaning.

The programme is specifically designed for women who desire support in moving forward.  Some women leave a relationship feeling utterly disempowered.   I know all too well the chaos of being in a relationship with a partner with narcissistic tendencies.  There’s the devaluation, triangulation and gaslighting, for starters.  Often, others, (outside the relationship), don’t understand or realise the damage being perpetrated.   The Daring, Divorced & Divine coaching sessions are sensitive to women feeling particularly vulnerable.

The Desire Map
Just over 4 years ago, I became a licensed facilitator of The Desire Map.  The Desire Map is a programme created by Danielle La Porte.  The Desire Map is a way of getting into the heart of what we want for ourselves and turns goal setting on its head. This is a way I can offer further coaching and support to clients once they finish my own programme. I offer one-on-one coaching and I also run small and intimate workshops based on The Desire Map.  This is a great way for me to support women beyond the Daring, Divorced & Divine programme, as well.

(The Desire Map Workshops)

A Book
While I was completing my Life Coach training, I had the opportunity to contribute a book called ‘In the Spirit of Abundance’.  It is a book of inspiring stories of courageous people who have overcome adversity to create abundance in their lives.  The book also featured contributions by bestselling authors, Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Brian Tracey, Sandy Forster, and Arielle Ford.

Although this book was far from a world best-seller, being part of it,  was hugely significant to me.   The whole divorce process was so painful that all I wanted to do was retreat.    I am generally shy, by nature. Being part of the book marked a turning point as I had the opportunity to speak up for myself about my situation for the first time.  It also acted as the drawing a line in the sand and saying to myself ‘enough’.  It’s time to move forward.

What’s more, there was so much inspiration in the book with many people coming through so many adverse situations, that I felt privileged to be part of it.

For the past 10 years, I have enjoyed creating mosaic pieces.  I have created commissioned pieces for people’s homes and gardens as well as offering small workshops to women and children.

Mosaics offered me a path through healing.  It is amazing how therapeutic it is to take to some tiles or old plates with a hammer and then recreate something new and beautiful.








The Journey
I undertook all of the above while I was holding down a day job.  Sometimes, there was little time and I could only take baby steps because I would be exhausted from my day job and family responsibilities.  Like many mothers, if my family needed me,  I would put my projects on the back-burner.  But, I found myself coming back to my projects as soon as I was able.  I felt I was being guided and so followed my instincts.

Even in moving forward and making progress, I would offer experience setbacks.  Sometimes these were emotional and sometimes financial.   As I would discover healing and financial recovery isn’t linear but spiral. I could find myself slipping back in fear but I would face the fear and in re-visiting it, I could bring it to the surface and light for healing.  As I would discover, I could only allow what I was ready and willing to come into agreement and alignment to, in order to move to the next level.

And You?
If you are here, reading this, perhaps you are on the crazy rollercoaster ride you have never experienced before…….. so many emotions………..many of them often conflicting?  It’s doing your head in and shattering your nerves.  You might catch a glimmer of the light at the end of the tunnel, only to lose sight of it again.

If you want to learn more, please visit coaching-i-am.com.  

Until next time, 

Clare xxx

Clare Lavender is a mother, creative entrepreneur, a mosaic artist, an accredited life coach, and facilitator of workshops on personal development, The Desire Map (by Danielle LaPorte) and mosaics. As well as offering workshops, Clare offers one on one sessions to women.  These are available to women all around the globe.
In addition, Clare has also created her own ‘Daring, Divorced and Divine’ coaching programme for women. This programme is aimed at inspiring, empowering and supporting women to move on to greater well-being following divorce.
In 2013, Clare was privileged to be invited to be part of a compilation book, ‘In the Spirit of Abundance’.  A number of inspiring authors including best-selling authors, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen from the highly successful ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ book series, were involved, as well as Brian Tracy,  Arielle Ford and local Sandy Forster.
Clare has a strong business background, having worked as a PA/EA and Practice Manager.  She is also trained in human resources management.  Clare has worked in several small to medium legal practices in her local area as well as ‘temping’ in larger practices based in Sydney.  Clare assisted in the set-up and management of  (a family business) and one of the first specialist family law practices in the region before moving on to work in a more creative field.
Clare is a Reiki practitioner.
If you are interested in any further information, working with me one on one or joining a workshop please contact Clare at clare@coaching-i-am.com or visit coaching-i-am.com.




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