Desire! Deep wanton, luscious desire! You know you’ve felt it.
The experience of desire can be so intoxicating, it’s hard to forget.
And it’s at the very heart of goal setting.
Sweet, Sweet Desire
It starts out as an inspirational thought or an idea. Then you really begin to feel in it your heart and then in your whole being. You know you desire it so much, now how do you get that which you desire……
Well, it all works pretty simply really. You desire something. You say to yourself, “I will get/achieve that thing. I’ll work towards manifesting that thing by such and such a date”. Before you know it you’ve set yourself a goal.
Next comes the how to get it. The more difficult part. So, you develop a plan. You make the endless ‘To Do Lists’, so that absolutely nothing stands between you and your goal. You are on a mission.
You know you’ve got this covered and you know that once you get there, you are going to be feeling so contented, so satisfied and oh so fulfilled! It will come and all of those feelings will come with it, just as soon as you achieve your goal. If you haven’t experienced those feelings consistently before, not to worry, because you are so certain that when you get that goal those feelings are there for you. You are so going to be sitting pretty.
The Desired
So what do you desire? It could be any number of things, but it might be one of the following on your list. You desire that future ideal life partner, the perfect relationship maybe with the perfect children, all in just the perfect timing. It might be the more material desires you start off chasing. Maybe it’s that car. You know the one, the one that just hugs those corners and has the luscious interiors. It’s the ideal home, of course. While you’re at it, how about that fantastic career or that highly successful business. You know the one. It will give you all that time to enjoy life as well as complete financial freedom.
The Reality
It’s all so perfect. It certainly all looks so good on paper. When it all works out it is absolutely fantastic. Right? It’s what everyone desires, isn’t it? It should be what I want, right? It’s what I am being sold through the media, so it must be what I want? Everyone else is doing it, why can’t I? I want to make my mother/father/spouse proud, so I want to prove myself? Isn’t this the way? But why has life thrown me a curve ball? This wasn’t the way it looked like from back there. If only life would conform? If only he or she would do this, then everything would be better? It sort of works for me but something is missing? Why doesn’t life always feel the way it should?
And it continues and you begin to notice little things, like, I’ve bought the top of the range ‘King Koil’ bed, so why am I not waking up, every morning, with that ‘Sealy’ posturepedic feeling. Instead, I seem to get tension headaches more often these days. I have that neck and shoulder pain again. I seem to have these niggly aches and pains which I can’t seem to put my finger on. Maybe it’s that knot in the pit of your stomach that you notice more often, especially on your way to the office. It’s that cough or cold that just seems to linger and you just can’t seem to shake. It’s the return of that damn IBS again. This is the start of the wake-up call.
The Problem
When life is working out the way you had hoped, planned and dreamed, it is fantastic. There is probably no need to question your approach to planning and goal setting, whatsoever. You can ride out the small challenges and get through them intact and almost unscathed. But what happens when you face one of life’s bigger challenges? What if the tried and tested approach to goal setting isn’t working anymore? Then maybe it’s time for a reality check.
The reality is that relationships can take work, a lot of work. The car is great but it comes with a price. You have to do extra billable hours to make the monthly repayments and the hefty residual payment is coming up soon. The home is an absolute dream to live in, if only you weren’t working so much, so that you could actually enjoy more time living in it.
When it comes to your professional life, you made your career choice in your late teens and early twenties and it doesn’t seem to be quite living up to your expectations. Now what do you do?
The business has seen you move forward in leaps and bounds but, there have been more challenges than victories, lately. This has left you feeling tired, jaded and frustrated. You want to shake things up a bit. You want to feel more of the passion you felt in the beginning. You just seem to be lacking the clarity and focus. But what now? You are at a cross-roads? Which way is forward?
Taking A Different Approach
When the tried and tested methods you have used no longer seem to meet your needs then, it can be time to try a different approach.
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
Albert Einstein
‘The Desire Map’, a book by Danielle LaPorte takes a different approach to goal setting. It basically turns the way that you approach goals on its’ head. ‘The Desire Map’ takes the view that you are actually chasing the feeling the goal will bring you, rather than the goal itself. According to Danielle, if you were to get clearer about how you wanted to feel, not just when you reach the goal but also on the journey towards the goal, you could gain so much. For a start you would have greater inner clarity and from there take much more effective outer action. You would also set your intentions based on the way you want to feel along every step of the way, rather than deferring the ‘good’ feelings until the end. In taking this approach you also know what immediately to say ‘hell yes ‘and ‘hell no’ to, as options arise. You more or less use this approach as your internal GPS.
You may be someone who is normally very much in tune with your own knowing, intuition or gut feeling. However, there come times of overwhelm, turmoil and upheaval when it is difficult to tune into this inner guidance. I found ‘The Desire Map’ to be a very useful tool, during these times. I know that many other women have used it in a similar way. Using ‘The Desire Map’ as a tool and a practice, I believe, has been part of its’ success.
‘The Desire Map’s’ success came upon its’ immediate release, with more than 40,000 books being shipped in the first month and more than 500 Book Clubs forming internationally. Now, since early 2015, there is workshop based on ‘The Desire Map’, happening somewhere in the world each and every weekend.
I am one of a small number of Licensed Facilitators of ‘The Desire Map’ within Australia. I offer both Levels 1 and 2 of ‘The Desire Map’. The ‘Desire Map’ approach has been a perfect fit with my Life Coaching training and experience. I combine ‘The Desire Map’ and Life Coaching when presenting my ‘Life Design 101 featuring The Desire Map’ workshops. I am also taking on a more creative approach in the near future, combining mosaics with some of ‘The Desire Map’ workshops. I have a desire to bring this work and these workshops to the Blue Mountains and Greater Western Sydney area.
The next Level 1 workshop is on at The Creative Fringe, Unit 6, 51 York Road, Penrith on Sunday, 26th July, 2015, between 9-30 am and 5-00 pm. If you are looking for a fresh approach towards goal setting, whether personally or professionally, you might like to learn more. For further information about the workshops, contact Clare at coach@coaching-i-am.com.
Clare Lavender is a Mother, Creative Entrepreneur, Mentor, Accredited Life Coach and Mosaic Artist. She is the Director of Coaching-I-Am. Clare lives in Sydney, Australia. For further information you can visit www.coaching-i-am.com or email Clare at coach@coaching-i-am.com. You can write to Clare C/- Coaching-I-Am, PO Box 123, Blaxland NSW 2774.