2018 – The Art of Surrender


The Art of Surrender

“Let what wants to come, come
Let what wants to go, go
If it is mine, it will stay
If not, whatever is better will replace it.”
Tosha Silver

The Art of Surrender
Have you ever had to surrender or have you chosen to surrender?    What were the circumstances?  How did you feel when surrendering?  Did you feel empowered or dis-empowered in the process?

 The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines surrender as……..”to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand,
 to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favour of another and  to give (oneself) over to something (such as an influence).”

So, is the act of surrender weak and passive?  I don’t believe so.  There is a process and it can be empowering.

The Process
When it comes to surrendering, I am not advocating giving into another person’s authority or giving in to a bully, for example.  For me, surrendering means reaching for my desires……. and……. dreaming of and creating a life that is in all of my possibilities……..  BUT……without always having a deadline and more importantly without being attached to the outcome.  When it comes to the outcome, I allow room for play.

For me, surrendering involves being in the moment and attempting to be only there – being fully present.   Then, rather than having the knee-jerk reactions to daily events, I give myself a moment for my higher-self or intuition to take the lead.  Do I always do this?  No, I often fall back into my old habits, but awareness is the key to getting back on track.  I am getting better at this process day by day.  The benefits for me are less chaos and greater inner peace.  But, let me show you how an expert does it………….

The Surrender Experiment
With surrender being a topic of great interest to me, it often shows up in my thoughts and also in my discussions with others.  So when The Surrender Experiment, a book by Michael A Singer, showed up for me last Summer, the timing couldn’t be more perfect.  The results of this experiment were truly astounding.I believe that Michael Singer is the absolute master when it comes to the art of surrender.  He gives himself over, unreservedly, to the flow of life. Even as a young college student, Singer had a strong commitment to a spiritual practice involving yoga and meditation.  I have no doubt that this served him well in his experiment.

What does the experiment involve?  In not giving in to his own preferences, Singer simply allows life to flow through him and to him – (which is not really that simple at all).  What flows to him is beyond anything that he could have possibly imagined.    He is always appreciative and grateful for whatever shows up, considering it all as a gift. (Although opportunities appear to show up miraculously, he does work very hard to give the best of himself.)  As well as being appreciative for the opportunities –  it all as a great learning experience. 

“I would eventually learn that everything in life has something to
teach you and that it is all for your growth.”
Michael A. Singer

The synchronicity of all that unfolds before and for Michael Singer is extraordinary.  In the process of surrendering, the right people, resources etc. show up in his life at exactly the right time.  I should point out that he is not striving for more than he already possesses.  Perhaps, that is the key.  He is perfectly content where he is at any given point in time.  When opportunities show up it comes as a huge surprise to him.  The manifestation of these ‘things’ appears to be effortless on his part.  That is the part that I find so extraordinary – always believing that I had to constantly push and strive – often against the flow of life.

In saying ‘yes’ to whatever life leads him to, the author is lead to profound lessons,  deeper connections, new ways of serving and extraordinary success in business.  

This success manifests itself initially in the form of a teaching role, a meditation centre,   a successful building business a billion-dollar medical software company and more.

The Twist
There is a twist – isn’t there always?  This certainly satisfies the sceptic in me.  This twist involves a massive FBI raid, a drawn-out legal process based on completely unfounded accusations. But even this has a positive outcome and more lessons in surrendering and growth.  Needless to say,  Michael Singer is cleared and then goes on to release a book. He becomes a New York Times bestselling author of  ‘The Untethered Soul’ before releasing, The Surrender Experiment, several years later.

Other Views
So, that is one take on surrender, but what do others have to say?

“One misconception is that surrender means passivity,
but in actuality,
it is the opposite: Surrender simply means that you allow
your Higher Consciousness to show you when to act and when to be still.
You can learn to detach from the outcomes
and just let the right action flow through you.”
Tosha Silver

“Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to
 rather than opposing the flow of life.”
Eckart Tolle

“Dream big – dream very big. Work hard – work very hard.
And after you’ve done all you can, you stand, wait and fully surrender.”
Oprah Winfrey

Final Words On Surrender
In letting go and surrendering more to the flow of life, I still find myself looking over my shoulder to see what I left behind.  Surrendering has been an uncomfortable and uneasy process at times. But, it feels so necessary and it is what I feel I am being called to do.

Why?  Because the old ways just weren’t working for me anymore.

In the past, if I desired something I would take action and push until I would make a dent and then find the opening.  But more recently –  when I pushed – the world seemed to push back harder – knocking me off balance so much so that what I was desiring seemed to elude me.  I felt as though I was being guided to a new way and surrendering was the portal through to the other side.

What I draw from my own experience and that of others is……. to master the art of surrender I require patience, courage, gratitude, appreciation, trust and absolute faith. And I need to be open to the lessons that life is bringing to me.   The process of surrender involves learning to rely on my own intuition, gut instinct, inner being or whatever else you wish to call it, shutting out the external noise AND believing that something else will always unfold for me, for my (own and others’)  greater benefit.

Until next time,
Clare xxx













2 thoughts on “2018 – The Art of Surrender

  1. Linda Carroll

    You are so right Clare, surrender is NOT passive. Surrender is a choice and a decision. Even when we choose to surrender, we can always change our minds later!
    Choosing to surrender to circumstance has brought me many beautiful and unexpected things in my life.
    Surrender has opened doors for me. Surrender has opened marvelous pathways to me. Surrender has brought me fulfilment beyond my wildest dreams!
    Like any choice, sometimes surrender isn’t the ideal one. But it’s often a very good choice…and sometimes the best choice!
    I think human nature is to struggle, and try to control…so THANK YOU for reminding me that surrender is an option!

    1. coaching-i-am Post author

      Thank you, Linda, for taking time to leave a comment and for sharing your experience of surrender. You have been courageous in letting go of the struggle and the need for control to open yourself up to the possibilities that surrender can bring to life.


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